Fezzik In Paris

Yesterday we headed down to Porte de Versailles to attend the Salon de l’Agriculture. The show, the focus of which is, surprise, agriculture, wound up being much like Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo without all of the sucky bits (like the rodeo and the carnival).

We

• petted cows;
• bought cookies;
• looked at surprisingly artistic cow posters;
• got stuck in a sea of people;
• petted a soft donkey;
• bought a massive chunk of bread;
• joked about attending a French ag school;
• watched a goose seriously threaten a random guy’s testicles;
• wound up on the receiving end of a bantam rooster’s angry rant;
• picked up brochures for what I can only describe as completely random shit (Pigeon Club of France, anyone?);
• stepped in cow poop;
• laughed at derpy sheep;
• made a mental note to purchase Farm Simulator 2015 when it comes out;
• and seriously considered absconding with a goat. (Not sure about those hooves on parquet floors that date to the 1940s).

Sheer number of people aside (Paris fire marshal: what the hell, man?), we had a good time, though we didn’t buy nearly as much fresh food (oh the veggies, eggs, honey, cheese, and wine) due to the aforementioned throngs of people. We’d undoubtedly do it again (as a matter of fact, the Purrito is back at the show right now, as the host of a meetup group [yes, I bowed out]).

Filouse, the belle of the salon. (No, seriously; she’s the official mascot of this year’s salon.)

Brah doesn’t skip leg day.

A prize-winning, if shy, cow.

Charolaise cows. Their apparent sizes aren’t due to a trick of the lens; these cows weigh on the order of 1700 kilos each.

Close-up of a charolaise. Kid for scale.

A smug sheep.

A relative of Fezzik, in sheep form.

Holyshitpeople.

Want a balloon?

A friendly donkey.

A barbie girl in a barbie world. Life in plastic, it’s fantastic.

It took six guys to keep these massive horses (barely) under control.

A very German game at a very French event.

The scale isn’t apparent, but these pigeons (Romain) are chicken-sized and weigh on the order of a kilogram each.

A very proud rooster, shortly after crowing at me.

Emo cows from the Scottish highlands.

An alpaca, probably engaged in nefarious scheming.

Definitely scheming.

Half of an Aurora (the non-wild half).

The tram outside of Porte de Versailles.

The massive hunk of bread that cost us a whopping 4 EUR. Unexpected bonus: it’s sourdough.