Fezzik In Paris

Two Americans, three cats, and too many places named "de Gaulle"

Easter is the best holiday.

It’s the best holiday for two reasons: first, despite the cuteness applied to all of the associated animals, it’s a sex-and-fertility party that has been (not particularly effectively, in my view) repurposed as a party for a zombie.

My anthropology professor in college (oh liberal arts electives) hammered into us that the definition of culture is an extra-somatic means of adaptation. Taking it a bit further, culture (and society) are shared, arbitrary delusions; the old ones get papered over, some less successfully than others.

It’s difficult to look at the Easter bit in particular without eventually just muttering “uh huh,” and going back to spiking one’s blood sugar.

The second reason, the most important reason that Easter is the holiday that overshadows all other holidays, is that Easter has the best candy. Halloween has mellowcreme pumpkins, Christmas has candy canes, and saint-Valentin’s day has conversation hearts (netting it a close second place), but Easter has shaped chocolate, almost invariably filled with smaller chocolate in other shapes.

Easter: it’s my jam.

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